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August 27, 2009
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“Father, what are these books” the young boy looked up at the hunderds of bookcases, filled by thousands of books.

“life is like a book, and every day is a page. What you do, think and see, everything on a day forms a story, a chapter. When the day ends life writes it down.
This goes on till the end of your time, and so the end of the story.
When you die the book is complete, wheter you die at the age of 20 or the age of 110. the book is always full.
Then they come here to be remembered by those who live, or be eternaly forgotten”

the young boy looked around.
“are these finished?” he said, pointing at an old bookcase.
His father let out a sad sigh. He touched the back of one of the books.
“no, a story ends when it needs to end. And those wo do are full.
But some stories end earlier than they were meant to be. These are the books of the unfortunate souls. They who took their own life, and ended their story.”

the boy looked at his father, they both had a look of compassion in their eyes.
“What happens with them?”
“who knows...”
:icongcgreengrass:
a short story, maybe i'll write a longer version.
more details and stuff.
it's a side story of a book i'm writing.
:iconmae-jay:
It's a very interesting concept, and I can see it easily being expanded to something more. But even as a short piece, it works very well.

The main thing I notice that needs improvement is the formatting. The first word of every sentence, even when in quotes, should always be capitalised, and there should be a hard stop at the end of all of the sentences.

The way the lines are broken up is a little odd, as well. The standard format for prose (when posted online; print is slightly different) is every time you start a new paragraph, press the Enter/Return key twice. It creates a blank space like this:

Generally, you don't need to start a new paragraph during dialogue. Like, when the father is talking, the extra line breaks just seem to break up the flow, and don't really add anything to the story. You really only need to start a new paragraph before someone starts talking, and after they've finished.

Keep it up, though. You're doing very well! =)
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